haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
