come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
