I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
