From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
