I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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