we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
