tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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