I just made out with a guy for $7.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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