The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
