I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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