so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
