i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
