what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
