So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
