I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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