do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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