So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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