me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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