So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
