im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
