Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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