How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
