This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize