ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
