problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
