is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Im part way to drunk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
