youre lurking in front of me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
