I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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