dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Randomize
