i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and she was petting her beer can
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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