my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
