Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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