ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
