Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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