We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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