I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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