What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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