butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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