How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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