Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
