Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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