Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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