I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
