she woke up with a sticky ear
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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