You made me cry and you don't even care
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
