I want to walk on stilts...naked
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
