Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
