this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
