I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
