I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
